No Man is an Island
by Beth Smith
Summary: Mary hurt him once, and now he's found love. But when tragedy ends his relationship, can he give her a second chance?
1. I Am a Rock

DISCLAIMER: You all know that 7th Heaven is not mine. I will not talk about how I wish Simon was mine, because he isn't in this fic, but if I go back to my Simon/Cecilia theme, I'll ramble about him again! Alyssa is mine. The title for this chapter, and the lines at the end are from the Simon and Garfunkle song, "I Am a Rock."  
  
MY NOTES: I love Mary and Wilson...Don't you? There are a few minor things in this fic that might not make sense unless you read "Something You Can't Take Back." So you can go read that...Except that it's so minor it won't be a big deal... This is set a year later.  
  
DEDICATION: To Kay Kay and Camden-Kinkirk, who requested Mary/Wilson first of all! I know there are prolly others that want Mary/Wilson, but you two were the only ones when I read my reviews...  
  
CHAPTER ONE: I AM A ROCK  
  
Wilson West was in love with the blue-eyed girl who was sitting across from him in the kitchen of his apartment. The only other time he had been in love, it had been with his son's mother. And then there was...No. He didn't even want to think about her. Not after what she had done to him.  
  
He'd asked Mary Camden to marry him, and she'd said yes. But on their wedding day, she had left him standing at the altar.  
  
Then she'd run away, and, only two months later, married Carlos Rivera. He'd thought she'd loved him, but it had taken her two months to find a new guy. Some love.  
  
But a year later, he had met a girl. A good, down-to-earth sweetheart of a girl named Alyssa Hart. A girl who truly loved both him and Billy. She was two years younger than Wilson, and still in college. She was always helping with Billy, or cooking hot meals for them. Which was great. Wilson hated his own cooking. And so did Billy. But Alyssa was studying to be a chef. So, needless to say, Wilson and Billy never went hungry.  
  
So he was finally happy. Alyssa was everything he'd ever dreamed of. She meant everything to him.  
  
That night he walked her out to her car. She turned to look up at him. "Thanks for coming over," he said.  
  
"Any time. I love you, Wilson."  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
She looked up and looked so very vulnerable that he couldn't hold himself back. He leaned over her and pressed his lips to hers. She put her arms around his neck and held on tightly. He had his arms around her waist and they just stood there, savoring the moment.  
  
He brushed a stray bunch of curly hair out of his face, and said, "Good night.  
  
"Good night."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
"Please, Carlos," Mary Rivera sobbed. "Please don't leave me!"  
  
"Mary, I don't know why I married you in the first place! Tú eres loco!" He began spouting off in Spanish about how crazy she was and how he didn't know why he'd ever married her. Mary hated it when he spoke Spanish.  
  
"Carlos, we're having a baby. I'm your wife. How can you just leave me? I love you, and I can't raise this baby alone."  
  
"Well, you're gonna have to," he yelled. "I've had it, Mary!"  
  
"What am I doing that's so wrong?"  
  
"You wanted to get our marriage annulled. And you told Lucy that you didn't know why you married me. I loved you, Mary. I LOVED you. Why did you marry me if you don't care about me?"  
  
"I do care about you, Carlos." She pled with him as tears streaked her face.  
  
"Then why did you want our marriage annulled."  
  
"I barely knew you, Carlos. But I love you now."  
  
"Come on, Mary." He rolled his eyes.   
  
"Carlos, please don't leave me."  
  
"Why not? You were gonna leave me."  
  
Carlos picked up his suitcase and headed for the door. Mary collapsed on the floor as he slammed the door behind him.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Wilson was fast a sleep when his phone rang at 11:00. "Hello?" he said, his voice slightly slurred with sleep.  
  
"Mr. West?" said an unfamiliar female voice.  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Alyssa Hart is here in the Buffalo General Hospital. She's been in a car accident, and yours was the only contact number we found on her."  
  
"OK. I'll be there in as soon as I can."  
  
He pulled his clothes on and dressed Billy, putting the sleepy boy in the car. As they rode to the hospital, nothing except Billy talking to himself broke the silence. They pulled up in front of the hospital, and Wilson took Billy out of the car, carrying him so that he wouldn't slow him down. He ran into the hospital, not even noticing how heavy he was.  
  
The nurse at the desk gave Wilson a chastising look as he ran up to the desk. "No running in the hospital."  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm looking for Alyssa Hart."  
  
A sympathetic look took the place of the chastising one. "Are you a family member."  
  
"She's my new mommy," Billy piped up.  
  
The woman looked sadly at the little boy, then turned back to Wilson. "What's your name, young man?"  
  
"Wilson West."  
  
"Have a seat over there, Mr. West. I'll be right with you."  
  
Wilson sat down, clinging to Billy like a lost child to his doll. He rubbed his eyes, trying not to cry. He knew that it wasn't good.  
  
Billy had called Alyssa his new mommy. That thought alone made Wilson want to cry. He saw the nurse coming toward him, and he rubbed his eyes again. "Mr. West?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am?"  
  
"I'm very sorry. Your wife passed away a very short time ago."  
  
Wilson didn't bother to tell her that Alyssa wasn't his wife.  
  
"Do her parents know?" he managed to croak.  
  
"Yes. They were just informed."  
  
Wilson closed his eyes. The nurse looked at him. "Mr. West, you need to go home and try to rest."  
  
He nodded, took Billy's hand and led him out to the car. He drove home and put Billy to bed. He couldn't believe that the same woman he'd kissed right in the driveway, right at this apartment building, was gone. He went to bed and curled into a fetal position. And then he cried. He cried like an abandoned child. And he swore to himself that he would never fall in love again. Love caused him too much pain.  
  
---------------  
  
And a rock feels no pain.  
  
And an island never cries.  
  
...............  
  
A/N: Thanks for reading! I love getting reviews! So click that purple button!  
  
I know this went a little fast paced, but this was more of a "get the facts out there" type chappie.  
  
Review, and Wilson might take back the swear he made to never fall in love again...lol... 


	2. Catch Your Breath

DISCLAIMER: The whole "I don't own it" drift. Yeah. You get the picture. The title of this chappie and the lines at the end are from the Lifehouse song (believe it or not) "Simon."  
  
MY NOTES: Thanks to all reviewers! You guys rock!  
  
LaurenD-Glad you like it!  
  
Kaykay- I'm glad you like it...It must be DANG good if you liked it even without Mary and Wilson being together in the first chapter. LoL.  
  
Camden-Kinkirk- Glad you liked it! Don't cry!  
  
Shan- Yes! Boo Carlos! And sad girl died...lol... You're hilarious! Bethie talk like caveman sometimes, too...lol... I'm not revealing the middle name on my birth certificate...lol...but you can say "Bethany Michelle Smith!" lol...  
  
RGBlue16- Thanks!  
  
CHAPTER TWO: CATCH YOUR BREATH  
  
Mary woke up in the floor, the divorce papers still in her hand. "Oh, Carlos! Please come home!"  
  
But Carlos wasn't coming home and the papers in Mary's hand were proof.  
  
She groaned as she felt a contraction. "Not now, Baby. Please not now." But it appeared that the baby had made up his mind to. He was ready to come. Mary barely managed to drag herself onto the couch. She grabbed the phone and dialed 911. Then she prayed that someone would make ir before the baby came. She didn't want to give birth alone.  
  
The paramedics arrived just when Mary thought they wouldn't make it. There was no time for them to get her to the hospital. A young paramedic delivered Mary's son. Then they cleaned him up and layed him in his mother's arms. She kissed his tiny head. Why did he have to look so much like Carlos?  
  
The paramedics cleaned up the place a little before taking Mary to the hospital.  
  
As she rode in the ambulance looking at her son, she tried to decide what to name him. She and Carlos had planned to name him Charles Miguel...But Miguel was Carlos's grandfather's name, and the baby alone reminded her enough of Carlos. She didn't want to give him a name that would only bring back more memories.  
  
She looked over at the paramedic who had delivered her baby. "What's your name?" she asked him.  
  
"Tim," he replied. "Tim Dawson."  
  
She looked back at her son, pondering the name in her mind. Then she looked up and said, "Well, Tim Dawson, meet Charles Timothy Rivera."  
  
The paramedic couldn't help smiling at the tiny baby boy who was named for him. "I'm honored, Mrs. Rivera."  
  
"Mary," she replied. "I'm taking Rivera off as soon as I can."  
  
The young man said nothing to break the awkward silence.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Immediately after Alyssa's funeral, Wilson went home and started packing. He had to work only eight more days to finish out his notice. And then he was leaving. He never wanted to see Buffalo, New York again. He was moving back to Glenoak. For good.  
  
---------------  
  
Catch your breath,  
  
Hit the wall,  
  
Scream out loud,  
  
As you start to crawl.  
  
...............  
  
A/N: Watcha think? Shannon, don't be mad at me for leaving the baby's name Charles. I won't let 'em call him Chuck...lol That was another short one! 


	3. Everytime You Say Goodbye

DISCLAIMER: The whole "I don't own it" drift. Yeah. You get the picture. The title of this chappie and the lines at the end come from the song "Everytime You Say Goodbye" by Alison Krauss and Union Station. U-Haul belongs to somebody who is not me...  
  
MY NOTES: Thanks to all reviewers! You guys rock! Sorry to leave you guys hangin'. I have been very busy, and I am getting to be lazy about typing.  
  
Kaykay- Is Mary in Glenoak? No. Is she going to Glenoak? Stay tuned.  
  
Katey- Sorry I didn't see your review when I was doing last chap's notes. Thank you very much!  
  
Shan- Destiny...::sighs:: Yep! No Chuck! If you don't update I won't update...Think I'm kidding? Maybe so, BUT...I wouldn't try to find out...lol...  
  
Camden-Kinkirk- Thanks as always for r/r!  
  
Jules- I love you, doll! But have you ever heard of subtle persuasion? lol. As in "Wouldn't it be cool if Mary and Wilson were together?"  
  
Oy-With-the-Poodles- Thanks for the r/r, and God bless! =D right back atcha!  
  
Andy Kay- Thanks for the r/r! I loves your Simon one shot! I told you that already, though...  
  
CHAPTER THREE: EVERYTIME YOU SAY GOODBYE  
  
Wilson shipped most of his stuff to Glenoak before he left. His mom was going to keep his things until he arrived, so that he wouldn't have to rent a U-Haul.  
  
His landlady babysat Billy the Saturday before they were supposed to leave. Wilson went down to St. Luke's Baptist Church to say one last goodbye to Alyssa.  
  
He pulled into the parking lot and was afraid to get out of his car. He finally forced himself to get out and walk down the hill to the freshly dug mound of dirt that seperated him from the woman who'd shared all his hopes and dreams. He stood beside the grave and just looked at it. He fell to his knees in tears, then picked up a dirt clod and crumbled it in his hands. It was just like his dreams. It had appeared to be as strong as a rock, but it crumbled easily into a pile of dirt.  
  
"Why her?" he asked, looking to the sky as if he expected God to answer audibly.  
  
Then he found himself lying in the dirt, oblivious to the fact that he was staining his new white shirt. Tears were streaming down his face, and he was wishing that he had died instead of Alyssa. This day would have been the six month anniversary of their first date. He pulled a small jewelry box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal a diamond ring. He wiped the tears from his mud-stained face and said, "I was gonna give this to you today, Alyssa. I'm so sorry."  
  
He kissed the tiny box and dug a small hole in the dirt. He pressed the box down into the ground and covered it with dirt. "It's yours forever," he said. "And so am I."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
Mary headed back to Glenoak as soon as it was safe for little Charlie to travel. She sold alot, packed what she could, and let Carlos take the rest.  
  
She swore never to get married again. She had thought Carlos was the one. But it was obvious that he wasn't.  
  
At least he'd given her full custody of Charlie. There was that to be happy for. But even Charlie served as a reminder of Carlos.  
  
When Mary arrived in Glenoak, she wasn't surprised that there was no welcome party. She hadn't told anyone that she was coming. She drove to the house where her family lived, but when she got there, noone was home. She sat on the front porch for a while, holding Charlie. Lucy and Kevin pulled into the driveway nearly twenty minutes later. Lucy was out of their black Grand Am as soon as it stopped rolling. Then she was running up the porch to see her big sister. Mary stood up, holding Charlie tight.  
  
"Mary, what are you doing here?" Lucy asked.  
  
Mary started to answer, but Lucy immediately cut her off when she saw Mary's tiny bundle. "Who's this?"  
  
"Lucy," Mary said with a forced smile, "Meet your nephew. Chrles Timothy Rivera."  
  
Lucy was shocked. "You didn't tell me you..."  
  
"Were pregnant? Yeah, I know. I didn't. I didn't want you guys to make a big deal out of it."  
  
"But it is a big deal! I have a new nephew!"  
  
"Yep. So, where is everybody."  
  
Lucy scratched her head in comical Lucy fashion. "Let's see... Simon and Cecilia took Emily to the mall for new clothes. Ruthie's at Peter's, Martin's over at Mac's...And Mom, Dad, and the twins are shopping for groceries."  
  
Mary raised one eyebrow. "Who's Martin?"  
  
"Long story. But I'll tell you later. Where's Carlos?"  
  
Mary visibly winced. "Um...he couldn't come this time. But he said to tell everyone hi."  
  
Lucy probed Mary's face, but she could find no answer to her unspoken question.  
  
Mary quickly changed the subject. "I thought you two moved out."  
  
"We did. But we're over here alot. We're having dinner here tonight."  
  
"But, how do you know where everybody is?"  
  
"Habit...Everybody knows that if they're not here, it might be possible to get them at my house. So I keep up with where they are. Plus, if I need to call anybody, I know where they are."  
  
Mary nodded, completely confused, as usual, by Lucy and what everyone referred to as...well...her insanity.  
  
"Are you staying for dinner?" asked Kevin, who had just walked up the steps to the porch, after allowing Mary and Lucy to have a short sisterly reunion.  
  
"Yeah...I guess so."  
  
"Good. Come on in!" Lucy said.  
  
Mary followed Lucy into the house. She closed the door behind her, the smells of home flooding her with memories. The lilac air freshener that her mom always used in the entry reminded her of meeting her old boyfriends at the door, hoping that they'd make it out of the house before her dad got the chance to interrogate them. Then a look into the livingroom broke her heart with the memory of the day she'd met Carlos, and brought him home for Christmas. She could see herself sitting on the floor playing "Go Fish!" with her ex-husband. Long before he was her husband. The smell of leather reminded her of her dad and his Bible. The scent of furniture polish brought to her mind a picture of her mom cleaning the livingroom.   
  
She and Lucy talked for a while. About nothing in particular, just random things. Charlie got a little fussy, so Mary had to feed him and change him.  
  
As they sat together chatting, Lucy kept bringing up Carlos, and Mary kept skirting around the subject. She didn't want to talk about Carlos.  
  
"Where are you staying while you're in town?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Um...I was kinda hoping I could stay here."  
  
"Let's see," Lucy said, deep in thought. "You can stay in Simon's old room."  
  
"Where's he gonna stay?"  
  
"He and Cecilia and Emily stay in the garage apartment."  
  
"Oh, yeah. I forgot."  
  
"Well, anyway...Let's get your stuff upstairs."  
  
"OK."  
  
Lucy called Kevin back into the room to help them. He got Mary's bigger bag. Lucy grabbed the smaller one, and Mary took her purse and diaper bag.  
  
It wasn't long before people began streaming into the house. First were Martin and Mac. Lucy added a plate to the stack, since Martin had invited Mac at the last minute. Ruthie showed up with Peter and Lucy added another plate to the stack. Yes, things were normal in the Camden household.  
  
Ruthie didn't see Mary, who was sitting in the back corner, until she said, "Hey Ruthie, come meet your nephew."  
  
Ruthie spun around, nearly in shock. "Mary?"  
  
Mary nodded, and Ruthie ran over to give her a hug.  
  
Ruthie looked at the baby. "Is this..."  
  
Mary nodded. "Ruthie, meet your nephew, Charles Timothy Rivera. But you can call him Charlie."  
  
"Hi, Charlie," Ruthie said, holding his tiny hand.  
  
He cooed contentedly at his young aunt.  
  
"See, Ruthie, he likes you already."  
  
Ruthie smiled. "Where's Carlos?"  
  
Mary restated her alibi. "He couldn't come, but he said to tell everybody 'hi.'"  
  
"Oh. OK." Ruthie looked at Mary, not quite believing her.  
  
Peter came over to say hello. He'd met Mary once at Lucy's wedding, and then at Simon and Cecilia's. He liked her well enough, but she always seemed to have something to hide. And that was one thing he did not like.  
  
Annie and Eric showed up just a little later, both shocked to see their oldest daughter standing in the kitchen with with a baby in her arm.  
  
"Mary!" Annie exclaimed, putting the groceries on the counter and running over to hug her.  
  
She looked at Charlie, but couldn't voice her questions.  
  
"Mom, this is your grandson, Charles Timothy Rivera," Mary supplied.  
  
"Oh, Mary, he's..." Annie wiped a tear from her eye. Mary let her hold the baby while Eric came over for his hug.  
  
"Where's Carlos?" Eric asked.  
  
Mary simply told her same little lie.  
  
Eric took his turn holding his grandson while Annie cooked dinner.  
  
Simon, Cecilia, and their one-year-old daughter, Emily, were the last to show up. Even Emily oohed and aahed over her new cousin. And, of course, Simon had to ask where Carlos was. But Mary just repeated her well-rehearsed lie.  
  
As they gathered to eat, Mary had the sinking feeling that her secret was going to come out. It was only a matter of time.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Look at the sky, baby,  
  
What do you see?  
  
Must be the tears that I've cried,  
  
Falling down like rain on the ground  
  
Everytime you say goodbye.  
  
...............  
  
A/N: I love reviews more than I love Simon...And believe me, that is saying one heck of alot, since I wanna marry Simon. Too bad Simon doesn't exist... :( That was a crying face, but ff.net will take out the tear, and prolly the nose, since they aren't language characters... But anywho... 


	4. Two Story Town

DISCLAIMER: The whole "I don't own it" drift. Yeah. You get the picture. The title of this chappie and the lines at the end come from the song "Two Story Town" by Bon Jovi. It's on the "Crush" CD...Check it out! I love my musical theme! YAY FOR MUSIC!   
  
MY NOTES: Thanks to all reviewers! I love youse guys! lol... I'm in a good mood, because I'm regaining the joy of the Brendan Leonard Show through old tapes, videos on the site, and the promise of a DVD!  
  
Kaykay- Life sucks when the greatest guys are fictional characters. I love long chappies too! I hope I'll get another soon.  
  
Shan- Glad you liked it! Ah...memories! I need to get back to the Simon and Cecilia theme, but...I'm really into this one, and Simon and Cecilia's new fic ain't comin' easy, y'know? I want more of your fic! Rack your brain!  
  
Camden-Kinkirk- In that case, guess you'll be glad to hear that I'm plannin' to have a small bit of Kevin and Luce fun in a coming chap! Stay tuned!  
  
cheerangel1- Thanks! I don't think I'm gonna have Ruthie get it out of her... But if you want to see a "Ruthie gets it out" thing, check out my fic "Something You Can't Take Back." Lots of Ruthie making Simon miserable...Well...not lots, but a good enough amount!  
  
RGBlue- Thanks!   
  
CHAPTER 4: TWO STORY TOWN  
  
When Wilson arrived in Glenoak, he was tired. Very tired. He couldn't remember the last time he'd driven so far. Plus, it was hours earlier in California than in New York. He and Billy spent Sunday with Wilson's mom, Dana West.  
  
Wilson didn't go to church, but his mother took Billy with her. When they got home, they found Wilson asleep on the couch. He woke up, said he was going apartment hunting, then changed. Billy wanted to go along, but Wilson made him stay home with Mrs. West.  
  
Wilson went out to his mom's Buick LeSabre, laughing when he thought of how he'd always called it the "old people car." He sobered again. Now he felt pretty old himself.  
  
He stopped at the first apartment building he saw, parked the car, went up to the building, and stopped at the office. He felt shock and anger rush over him when he saw her. Mary Camden Rivera with a baby boy in her arms. He turned an angry glance in Mary's direction. She looked up at him and gave a start. Charlie was heavy, so she shifted him in her arms, then looked up at Wilson again.  
  
"Hi, Wilson," she said, softly.  
  
"Mary," he replied coldly, with a curt nod.  
  
She knew it wasn't just her that was bugging him. Something was very wrong with Wilson.  
  
"How are you, Wilson?"  
  
"Fine," he said, mentally adding, "except that the woman I love is dead."  
  
She stood up and walked over to him. "Really?" she said, looking up into his eyes. "You're really fine?"  
  
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be fine?"  
  
"Wilson, I know you better than that." She shifted Charlie's weight to one arm, then raised the other to brush a hand across Wilson's face.  
  
As if by reflex, his hand jerked up to grab her by the wrist. "Don't touch me, Mary."  
  
She looked up into his eyes. Why did she ever leave him? Why didn't she marry him? Why? If she'd only stayed, Carlos could never have hurt her. But he had. And now, she would never get married again. She fought back tears.  
  
"Don't cry," he said, still coldly. "You're married now. And Carlos wouldn't want you here with me."  
  
She looked at him again, and her secret kept threatening to kill her. So she finally let it burst out. "No. I'm not married. Carlos gave me divorce papers last week."  
  
"I'm sorry," he replied, his icy voice making Mary cry more.  
  
"No, you're not," she spouted off angrily. "You're glad. I broke your heart, he broke mine. Now we're even."  
  
Wilson didn't want to argue, but he had to. "No. I'm not glad that Carlos left you. I know how it feels, remember? And I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Much less the woman I used to love."  
  
Mary winced. Wilson's words hit her right where it hurt. She had done the same thing to him. She was simply getting her just rewards. She was no better than Carlos.  
  
The landlord of the building came over to them. "You two take this outside. I've got a business to run."  
  
Mary and Wilson both turned to look at the old man, who was looking very angrily at them.  
  
"Sure," Mary said, turning to walk away.  
  
Wilson followed her, but didn't say another word. He turned around and went to the car, wondering how somw people never saw real heartbreak, and he had buried two women he loved, and had the other one leave him.  
  
He drove back to his mom's house and headed straight to his old room. Billy was calling his name, but he was deaf to it. He went into his room, closed the door, locked it, then laid down. He buried his face in his pillows, covering his head with a blanket. He didn't ever want to come out.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I couldn't sleep  
  
Took a walk down Second Avenue  
  
Sick of dreamin'  
  
Dreams that never come true.  
  
On a one-way street  
  
And I know where it's leading me to.  
  
---------------  
  
A/N: OK, so I'm leaving town for the summer, and I won't have any writing time, but I'll try to update before I go! I love youse guys! 


	5. Standing on the Ledge

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Mary, Wilson, Billy, or Charlie. I don't own Mary's Malibu... Chevrolet owns the name, and my friends own the actual car! The title of this chapter, and the lines at the end come from the song, "If I Am" by Ninedays!

**MY NOTES**: Thanks to all reviewers!

_Kaykay- Thanks! Glad you like it!_

_Shan- I love you, doll! I won't say much about the review since it was so long ago, but I'm glad we're OK! BTW, this chapter is my Christmas present to you! I love you!_

_GeorgeStultsFan- No problem! Why'd you change the name?_

_Oy-with-the-poodles- I guess I shall update for another Beth!_

_Babs567- Thanks a ton!_

_Forbidden Love- Thank you sooooo much!_

_buffyhu-Thanks! They were meant to be together!_

**Chapter 5: Standing on the Ledge**

The next day, Wilson decided to take Billy to the Promenade to see a movie and eat lunch. Billy loved the movie, but since it was a kiddie movie, it didn't appeal to Wilson. Then, they went to the outdoor café for lunch. They sat down at a table, and a waitress walked up to their table. "Hi!" she said happily. "I'm Debi, and I'll be your waitress today. Can I get you guys something to drink?"

Wilson smiled at her and said, "Yeah. I'll have a Coke, please."

Billy looked at Wilson. "Can I have a milkshake, Dad?"

"Sure, Billy. Whatever you want."

The little boy smiled at the waitress, some of his teeth missing. "I want a chocolate milkshake, please."

The waitress grinned and scribbled the orders on her notepad. "OK, I'll go get those out for you."

Wilson was trying to decide what to eat, but Billy was busily looking around at the people sitting at the other tables. Suddenly, he jumped up and ran over to a woman he recognised. Wilson groaned. It was Mary. Billy grabbed her shirt sleeve and led her over to their table.

"Hold on, sport," Mary said. "I can't sit with you guys."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because...I just...I can't, OK? I just can't."

"Yes, you can," Billy insisted. "Can't she, Dad?" He said, looking innocently at Wilson.

Wilson shrugged. "Why not?"

"Are you sure?" she asked.

He shrugged again, then indicated the chair that was open. She sat down, set the baby carrier beside her, and smiled at Charlie, who was fast asleep and sucking his thumb. She put her purse and the diaper bag beside it.

Mary smiled when the bubbly waitress asked her what she wanted to drink. "Um...let's see..." she looked at the beverage menu. "Let's go with Sprite."

"Sprite," the waitress repeated as she marked her little notepad.

She left, then returned with a Coke for Wilson, a chocolate milkshake for Billy, and a Sprite for Mary. Mary looked at Wilson. His eyes looked so haunted. Even more so than the day she'd seen him after the wedding. The day she'd given his ring back, then left. He looked up at her, then turned away.

She turned her gaze on Billy. "How's the milkshake, Sport?"

"Good," he said. "But it's givin' me a headache."

Mary laughed. "Here. Have a sip of my Sprite. It's my secret cure for brainfreeze."

Billy sipped the Sprite, and it cured his milkshake headache right away. "Thanks, Mary," he said.

"You're welcome," she replied. "But, remember, it's a _secret. _So you can only tell people who are having a brain freeze."

"OK," Billy said, a look of honor in his little-boy eyes.

The waitress came back quickly. "What can I get you guys to eat?"

Billy grinned and said, "I want a toasted cheese sandwich."

Wilson nodded at Mary, who told the waitress that she was on a seperate check. She waited for the waitress to flip the page, then said, "I want a grilled chicken salad, and a small cheeseburger."

The waitress nodded, wrote down the order, then flipped back to the other page for Wilson, then turned to him. "I guess...I'll have a large cheeseburger and fries."

"OK. I'll get those out to you in a little bit."

"Thanks," Wilson said.

Mary was thankful for Billy, because without him, the whole thing would have been one long awkward silence. His constant chatting was helpful. And it also kept Wilson from blowing up at her.

The waitress brought them their food, and they all dug in. Billy was hardly able to contain his excitement. For within his seven-year-old brain, a plan was formulating. A plan that would give him the family he'd always wanted...

He grabbed Wilson's arm immediately after finishing his lunch and said, "Dad, I wanna go to the park."

"OK by me, Chief. It's your day today. Whatever you want."

"Good," Billy said slyly, "Mary comes, too. And...wait...what's the baby's name?"

"Charlie," Mary said, giving him a smile that made him really wish that she was his mom. "His name's Charlie."

"OK, Charlie comes, too."

Wilson shrugged. "Whatever you want, Champ."

"Let's go!"

"Billy," Mary interjected, "I don't think I should go."

"Why not?" Billy asked innocently.

"B...because, Billy."

Wilson shrugged for the millionth time. "I guess its OK with me."

"Are you sure?" Mary asked.

"Yeah. Billy wants you to come."

"Yeah," Billy said. "I want you 'n' Charlie to come with us."

This time Mary was the one who shrugged. "I guess so. OK."

She stood up and hooked the carry-all in her right elbow, grinning at the still-sleeping Charlie. She slid her other arm through the straps of the diaper bag and her purse. Billy grabbed her shirt sleeve with one hand and Wilson's with the other, then skipped down the sidewalk to Wilson's mom's car. "Mary, can you ride in our car?" he asked.

"No, Billy," she said. "I need to drive mine."

"Dad, can I ride with Mary?" Billy asked, holding tightly to Mary's sleeve.

Wilson shrugged and looked at Mary. "Fine by me, if it's OK with Mary."

"Sure, Billy," Mary said. "It's OK with me."

"Thanks, Dad!" Billy said, hugging Wilson. "Thanks, Mary!"

"No problem, sport," Mary said with a smile.

"Go on, chief," Wilson said.

Billy followed Mary to her Chevy Malibu. She buckled Charlie into his car seat. Billy climbed into the backseat along side Charlie and buckled in. Mary climed into the car, and signaled, checking over her shoulder as she pulled out. "Wait, Mary!" Billy said.

"What!?"

"You didn't buckle your seat belt!"

Mary had to chuckle at the little boy's concern for her safety, although he had scared her nearly to death. She buckled her seat belt, and went on to follow Wilson to the park.

They arrived at the park, and Mary sat with Wilson on a park bench and watched Billy playing on the playground. Mary sat on one end, with Wilson on the other, and Charlie between them. They sat for a long time before Charlie's crying broke the silence. Mary picked him up and patted his back, then pulled out a bottle and popped off the lid. It was still warm from the thermal bag that she kept it in. She gave it to Charlie, but again focused her attention on Billy.

Wilson looked at Mary. "So...uh... When was your son born?"

"Charlie? He's three weeks old. He'll be four weeks on Friday."

Wilson nodded. "He's a cute kid."

"Thanks," Mary said softly.

They became silent again until a question popped into Wilson's mind that he had to ask. "Why'd you leave, Mary? You never told me why."

Mary didn't know what to say. She looked at Wilson. "I don't know, Wilson...I... I was scared. Scared of being married to you and being Billy's mom."

"Why am I so scary to you?" Wilson asked.

"I don't know... I didn't think I was ready to be a wife or mother."

"So, two months later, you _were_ ready?"

"Wilson, that's not fair," Mary said.

"Life's not fair, Mary. Get used to it."

Mary couldn't believe this. This wasn't the Wilson she had known and loved. Something had changed him, and it wasn't just her. She wished she knew just what was bugging him.

She looked down and smiled at Charlie, who had already finished his bottle. She popped the cap back on and put it back in the diaper bag, raising Charlie to her shoulder to burp him. As she patted his back, Wilson watched her. Anger rose up in him from a place inside that had been locked away until this day, when he saw Mary again. And then, it was replaced by sorrow. Charlie should have been his son. Mary should have been his wife. But they weren't his.

"Uh... Mary, I'm sorry if I'm not being fair. But I have to know. Why could you marry Carlos and not me?"

Mary shook her head. "Because I was stupid, Wilson. Because I let my own fears and emotions drive me to do things I shouldn't have done. Things I regret every single day of my life."

Wilson took a guilty pleasure in knowing that Mary regretted her decisions. He couldn't believe it. Something like that would never have made him happy before. But he was buried so deeply in his own pain and misery, that it made him happy to know he had company.

Mary felt even more awkward than she had in a long time. She knew that she shouldn't ask Wilson what was bothering him. It was none of her business, but she had to ask. "Wilson, what's bugging you? It's not just me..."

He turned an angry glare on her, and she wished the earth would swallow her up. She hated herself for even asking. Wilson finally spoke after she was sure that he had burned a hole through her with his eyes. "It's none of your business, Mary. Just stay out of it."

"I'm sorry, Wilson. But I do care about you. And something is obviously bothering you."

"Since when do you care about me? If you'd cared about me, you wouldn't have left me standing at the altar without an explanation. If you'd loved me, you would have at least told me why you didn't want to marry me."

"Wilson, I told you why. You're just avoiding the question." By now, Mary had tears in her eyes.

Wilson looked at her angrily. "If you must know, I finally met someone, not long ago. Alyssa... And I loved her, and she loved me. And a few days before I was gonna ask her to marry me, she died. And that's the second woman I loved that I had to bur. Are you happy now?"

Mary's tears were now streaming down her face. "I'm so sorry Wilson. I didn't know."

"Well, maybe now you'll learn to stop butting into other people's business."

This proclamation threw Mary into a fit of sobs. At first, Wilson didn't care. He thought she deserved it anyway. But seeing Mary's red face, streaked with tears, made him feel like a jerk.

He didn't know what made him do it, but he moved the carry-all and slid over to be close to her. He put his arm around her shoulders and said contritely, "I'm sorry, Mare. That was out of line. I shouldn't have said it."

Mary shivered when she heard him call her "Mare." Noone had called her that in a long time.

The feelings inside of her frightened her. So she stood up and wiped her face. "I have to go."

He nodded. "OK...I... OK, whatever you need to do." He, too, was frightened by old feelings. He wanted to tell her, but he couldn't.

She snapped Charlie into the carry-all and picked it up, along with her bags.

Billy looked up from where he was playing, his hopes rising when he saw Mary in his father's arms, only to have them dashed abruptly when he saw her stand to leave. He ran over. "Where are you going, Mary?"

She sniffled, "I have to go home."

Billy looked at his feet. "OK"

"'Bye, Billy."

He walked over and gave her a hug. "'Bye."

She nearly burst into tears again. She had blown her chance to have this boy be her son.

Wilson turned away. He wouldn't look at her. Billy peeked in to look at Charlie. "'Bye, Charlie," he said, sadly.

Mary turned around and headed for her Malibu, hoping she'd never feel the way she felt with Wilson again. Because love had brought her nothing but heartache.

--------------------

_I see you standing on the ledge,_

_It looks like you might fall,_

_It's so far down,_

_Or maybe you were thinking about jumping._

_You could have it all,_

_If you learned a little patience,_

_And though I cannot fly,_

_I'm not content to crawl._


	6. It Only Hurts

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Mary, Wilson, Billy, or Charlie, nor do I own the other members of Mary's family! Or Martin... The song at the end belongs to Shania Twain... Anyways...

**MY NOTES**: Thanks to all reviewers! Please review more! lol

_Kaykay- Aww! Thanks! I really appreciate it! D_

_Erin- Thanks! That means alot! Sorry I took so long to update! And here is some Kevin-Lucy stuff for you!_

_Roxanne-and-Chandler-Forever- Yes indeed! Mary and Wilson are totally meant to be! Stupid 7th Heaven Writers just screwed it up!_

_Shan- Aww! Thanks, sweetie! Now I have a fanfic you approve of, and a man you approve of...Just gotta get that man to approve of me! LOL! Glad you liked your Christmas present! D_

_Babs- Thanks a ton!_

_Fan- Thank you. I don't know why, but Robbie isn't my fave Mary bf. But hey, that's just me. lol._

_10th Camden Wannabe- Thanks! I love Mary with Wilson! Too bad the WB didn't. :(_

**Chapter 6: It Only Hurts**

Kevin Kinkirk looked at Lucy incredulously. "Oh, come on, Luce. Mary wouldn't cheat on Carlos."

Lucy made a face at Kevin before saying, "Well, you didn't see her on that bench with Wilson's arm around her."

"No, I didn't. Therefore I have no reason to believe that she was doing anything wrong."

"Hmph!" Lucy hated how Kevin could be so calm when there was obviously something to get upset about.

Kevin fought back the urge to laugh, but Lucy was just so cute. He snickered, then laughed outright.

"Kevin," Lucy said angrily, "This is NOT funny!"

"Then why don't you talk to Mary about it?" he asked calmly.

"Because, Kevin, you don't just go ask your sister why she's cheating on her husband," Lucy said, hating how levelheaded Kevin was being.

"First of all, you have no proof that Mary is cheating on Carlos."

"Kevin, I saw her being held by her former fiancé."

Kevin just hugged her. "I love you, Luce. But sometimes..."

"Sometimes what?" she demanded.

"Sometimes you just jump to conclusions. You've got to give her the benefit of the doubt."

Lucy pulled away from Kevin and crossed her arms.

"OK, fine," Kevin said. "You get yourself in trouble, but don't ask for my help."

Lucy rolled her eyes and went up to their bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Kevin groaned. He knew what that meant. First of all, that he was lucky they were eating at the Camdens', or he wouldn't be getting any dinner that night. And secondly, that he was going to be sleeping on the couch.

-

At dinner, Mary, Lucy, and Kevin were silent. Lucy was angry, Kevin was annoyed, and Mary was confused. Her emotions were running wild after the moment with Wilson. Now she didn't know what to do. But, obviously, Wilson wasn't interested. So why even try?

Annie and Eric detected the tension in the room, but they weren't sure what was going on. Noone could stand being in the room for long. Everyone ate quickly, and then they all made up excuses to get out. Martin had homework to do, as did Ruthie and Peter. The twins miraculously decided to clean their room. Cecilia made some lame excuse about having to change Emily's diaper, and Simon insisted that she let him help. Lucy said she needed to talk to Eric and Annie, which left Mary and Kevin staring at each other blankly.

"What's up with you and Lucy?" Mary asked.

Kevin shrugged. "She's gotten another one of her ideas stuck in her head. I told her it was ridiculous, but you know how Lucy can be. If it's in her head, it's stuck there, and you can't talk her out of it."

Mary nodded. "Yeah. That's Lucy. What is it this time?"

"She thinks you're cheating on Carlos. She says she saw you with Wilson's arm around you in the park."

Mary looked at the table, then looked back up at Kevin. "She did. I was in the park with Wilson. But I'm not cheating on Carlos."

Kevin looked at her, trying to get his mind around what she was saying.

Mary didn't know what made her want to open up to her brother-in-law when noone else knew, but she did. She looked up at Kevin, an intensely sad look in her eyes. "Carlos left me. We're divorced."

"Oh... Oh, Mary, I'm sorry," Kevin said, giving his sister-in-law a brief hug.

She started crying. As she sniffled and wiped her nose, she said, "OK, so at least I got that out of my system."

A moment later, Eric, Annie, and Lucy walked in.

Eric looked gravely at his eldest daughter. "Mary, we need to talk."

Mary nodded. "OK."

She followed her parents into the livingroom. They directed her to the couch. She sat down, and said, "Before you guys start to lecture me, let me just say that I am a grown woman, and I can make my own decisions."

Eric shook his head. "Mary, I don't care how old you are. Having an affair with your ex-fiance is never a good idea."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Wilson?" Annie said, as if to jog her daughter's memory.

"Oh, no! I am NOT having an affair with Wilson!"

Lucy jumped in. "But I saw you with him at the park today... and you were..."

"Not doing anything wrong," Mary provided.

"As if cheating on Carlos..."

Mary interrupted. "I wasn't cheating on Carlos." By this time, she was in tears. Again.

They all looked at her, confusion on every face. Then she let it all out. All the pain that had been welling up inside of her. "Carlos left. We're divorced. And I'm coming back to GlenOak for good."

"Oh, Mary," Annie said, walking over to hug Mary. But Mary didn't want to be hugged. She pushed her mother away. "Just leave me alone," she said, as she stood up to run up the stairs to Simon's old room, which she was sharing with Charlie.

As she lay on the bed crying, she heard a knock on her door. "Who is it?"

"Simon. Can I come in?"

She sat up and sniffled. "Sure. Why not?"

The door opened, and she saw Simon standing in the doorway. He walked in and sat on the bed beside her. "I'm sorry, Mary," he said, giving her a hug. She sniffled. "I loved him, Simon. I loved him so much."

"I know. But it's gonna be OK. Things'll get better. Remember how hard it was for me and Cecilia when we found out she was pregnant? And what I was like after the accident? But it got better. It's hard. And sometimes I thought I'd die from the pain. But..." he trailed off.

"Thanks, Simon," Mary said. "But I think this is a little different."

"Yeah. Maybe so. But things will get better."

"I love you, Simon."

"I love you, too."

She leaned her head onto her little brother's shoulder and cried. He just rubbed her shoulder and let her.

Charlie woke up, and started crying, so Mary dried her eyes and went over to change his diaper. She changed him, then washed her hands. "So, do you feel like going downstairs now?" Simon asked.

"I don't want to go face everybody. But...I guess I'll go. I'm gonna have to do it sometime."

Simon gave her another hug. "OK, then."

They walked downstairs together, Mary holding Charlie.

They walked into the livingroom where all of the others, including Martin and Peter were gathered. "Oh, great!" Mary thought. "Why don't we just invite the whole town?"

Every eye in the room was on Mary. She was getting more and more uncomfortable.

Eric spoke up first. "I'm so sorry, Mary."

Mary stared him down angrily. "So sorry? Sorry that you accused me of having an affair when you didn't even know what was going on?"

"Mary, I..."

Lucy looked at her older sister. "It's my fault, Mary. And I'm sorry. I'm the one who got you accused."

"I know. You're always sticking your clean little nose somewhere it doesn't belong."

Everyone looked at Lucy, who said. "You're right. And I'm sorry. Maybe someday I'll learn to stop..." She couldn't talk anymore. Kevin squeezed her hand.

"Please forgive me, Mary," she managed to say.

Mary just looked at her. "I'll try," she said softly.

Martin and Peter left, quickly "remembering" that they had to "do...something."

Mary loved her family, but Lucy and her parents had hurt her so much. It really hurt to think that they could even think that she was having an affair.

She sat with them a little while, but then she went upstairs again. She put Charlie to bed before going to bed herself. It was another long night.

-

_It only hurts when I'm breathing._

_My heart only breaks when it's beating._

_My dreams only die when I'm dreaming._

_And I hold my breath, to forget._


End file.
